Adolescence: a wake-up call for parents

It’s taken the one-take-per-episode Netflix series Adolescence – which aired on 13 March 2025 – to meet the moment and galvanise people worldwide into talking about masculinity, the pressures boys and young men are up against, and the alarming factors influencing their attitudes and behaviour. Pressing issues up for debate include the dark sides of social media, the manosphere, toxic influencers, male rage and vulnerability, misogyny, the developing brain, risk-taking, identity, teen relationships and parent-child communication.

We’ve rounded up some thought-provoking commentary…

• “Parenting in this day and age is confronting. This series is designed to motivate us to be the parents we need to be in our kids’ lives. Delay as long as possible. Monitor what they do online. Use safety software. Notice when they aren’t right. Communicate, communicate, communicate, and then some. Show up and stay close”

– from The One Thing Netflix’s Adolescence The One Thing Netflix’s Adolescence Gets Wrong – And Why I’m Glad It –  blog post by parent coach Michelle Mitchell

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• “‘If you’ve got children, they’re gonna know a lot more than you,’ said Thomas Michael, who has led workshops explaining the manosphere to parents and school staff. ‘They’re gonna be aware of it. So talk to them about it, be open. The main thing is educating yourself and knowing what to look out for.’

[Adolescence writer Jack Thorne says:] ‘How do we help kids? How do we help boys? How do we stop boys harming girls? Those conversations, it takes all of us to have them’”

– from How toxic masculinity, Andrew Tate and the online “manosphere” inspired Netflix’s Adolescence (NBC News, 20/3/25)

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“Watching the show with her son, age 15, Sex Positive Families founder Melissa Pintor Carnagey said on Instagram…

We were in awe This series drew us into the layered family and community dynamics. It didn’t rely on sensationalised or graphic scenes. Just raw emotions, honest and often hard conversations. We witnessed them together

We learned… what it can be like to be a young teen, boy, girl, a helping professional, teacher, parent and community in this age of social media. We witnessed moments that influence a person’s inner voice, body image, self-esteem, sense of belonging, triggers, actions towards themself and others

We talked A lot. Pausing the video frequently to make space for our reactions and processing. In the pauses we talked about family, social media, bullying, misogyny, the legal system, toxic masculinity, emojis, feelings, parenting, intergenerational trauma, fear, loneliness, beauty standards, race, school systems, white privilege, anger and love. We had important, brave conversations

We felt It was a lot but it wasn’t too much. By the final scene, we were both with watery eyes. The empathy and compassion we experienced was important

We connected It felt like we were watching the behind-the-scenes of people’s real lives, moments we don’t typically get to witness. My son’s first words as the credits rolled were: ‘That was powerful.’ I agree, and I feel grateful for the connected experience we had. We hope more families take time out to watch and connect”

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• “Adolescence perfectly presents the subtleness of gender stereotypes and gender attitudes pervasive in society. How they shape the way we talk to and about each other, what we expect from ourselves and each other, and how we treat ourselves and others when those expectations are not fulfilled. We should prioritise education that addresses the gender stereotypes and attitudes that normalise gender-based violence and misogyny.

Questions to start conversations based on Adolescence

• When Jamie calls himself ‘ugly’ we get an insight into how he views himself and his self-esteem – how does this connect to his actions?

• Beyond online, where else do we learn ideas?

• Why did the boy who received a topless photo of Katie spread it around? What did he gain by doing this?

• Why did Jamie think Katie was ‘easier to get’ after photos of her were leaked? How do you feel about that?

• What did Jamie feel when Katie rejected him? Why?”

– from What can we learn about masculinity and misogyny from the Netflix drama Adolescence? – blog post (Bold Voices, 20/3/25)

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• “The pressure on boys to be dominant, sexually confident, emotionless is undoubtedly linked to the normalisation of sexual violence. We can teach all young people to recognise and critique harmful messages about masculinity and relationships, not just in porn but in their favourite films, in phrases their parents use, in music lyrics. We need more role models who show boys that there is more than

one way of being a man. We need to build critical thinking skills by having conversations, not shutting boys down”

– from Adolescence isn’t really a show just about Incels and online misogyny – and is showing it in schools actually the answer we’ve been looking for? – blog post (Our Streets Now charity combatting public sexual harassment, 7/4/25)

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• “The most common reasons schools seek my support as a consultant are interconnected:

1. Many boys are struggling silently – socially, emotionally, academically

2. Concerning behaviours are showing up loudly – eg aggression and misogyny

3. Boys feel schools are treating them more like problems than like people

   
   

A major tenet is that gender equality has gone too far in favor of girls and women, and now boys and men are the real victims in society. To address the seriousness of misogyny we must also address boys’ pain.

1. For some, Adolescence should be a wake-up call I don’t think social media should be the main focus of conversation. It’s much more a symptom of the disconnection so many boys experience. Whether they’re fans or critics of Andrew Tate, teenage boys are exposed to him and others like him with harmful sexist views. Many teenage boys have told me that although they hate his type of content, they can’t escape coming across it on the algorithm

2. We need to be careful Adolescence doesn’t skew our view of boys When I present some of my research on teenage boys with the public, some people are amazed to discover how deeply sensitive, compassionate, and emotionally rich and considerate teenage boys are

3. No, please don’t show this series in schools For a lot of parents, watching this with your teen could be a powerful conversation starter and the right call. But showing this in schools feels more like a fear-driven reaction. This ‘scared straight’ type of approach rarely ever works to change behaviour. The content could be unnecessarily traumatic. It could backfire.

If you want to address serious issues like misogyny with any success, boys (like anyone) need to feel you care about them. And because they are so gifted at detecting insincere agenda-driven BS, you need to actually care about them”

– from If we’re not careful, how we respond to Netflix’s Adolescence could backfire – Re:masculine blog (Dr Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman, 12/4/25) – We like the scripts he has for General Conversations About Emotions included in his free resources here

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• “Adolescence could not have picked 3 themes more central to the zeitgeist – and more global in their reach. Hapless parenting, violent gender ructions and intergenerational angst are a mirror of our deepest human fears in increasingly turbulent times.

The impossibility of parenting Never before have parents been left so bereft of any capacity to understand what their kids are doing, saying or communicating

The anger of men (unleashed on women) After decades where the world focused on helping women and girls rise to a level of equality with men, there is an urgent need to pay more attention to the suffering and relative falling behind of men and boys

Generational decline Jamie desperately wants his father’s approval, but his dad is ashamed of him – he admits he can’t even look at Jamie. The son rips havoc through his life, family and community. The girl who dies is collateral damage in this tale of civilisational decline”

– from 3 Reasons Why Adolescence Was Hit Home In 80 Countries – Elderberries blog post (Avivah Wittenberg-Cox 13/4/25)

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• “The most effective way to challenge gender stereotypes, online misogyny, bulling and abuse is creating space for wide-ranging, honest conversations with all young people. Here are some resources…

•  What is the manosphere? About digital communities that promote harmful ideologies

•  What does it mean to be a man? Ideas that might come up in conversations and ways of challenging these stereotypes

•  Tips for countering online misogyny in the classroom Learn from Nick’s experience delivering lessons to boys and young men

•  Tips for building critical thinking Practical advice on helping young people analyse and challenge problematic ideas and where they come from

•  What does a healthy relationship look like? An introduction”

– from the sexual health charity Brook

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• “1) This show is designed to stoke fear It was designed to be terrifying, to provoke an emotional reaction rather than a logical one

2) We can look for signs that something’s wrong If our kids are being harmed by what they’re seeing and doing online, there will be noticeable signs, which we can then do something about through conversations, boundary-setting or other forms of support and help

3) Connection and communication are protective By connecting with our kids, talking to them about what they are doing and experiencing, and helping them learn to connect deeply with others, we can do a lot to keep them healthy and safe”

– from Three Things to Keep in Mind About Adolescence – blog post (Melinda Wenner Moyer, 8/4/25)

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• “We should ‘Wizard of Oz’ the manosphere figures – pull back the curtain and reveal their true motives”

– from I got 100 young people to watch Adolescence with me – what they said might surprise you (Independent, 24/3/25)